alisonkinkead

alisonkinkead @ 2009-09-19T15:05:00

2009-09-19T19:06:24Z

I think I'm going to start using tumblr. I have a legitimate journal now that has pretty much replaced this but there are some little quips here and there that I'd like to express on the internet. I'll post a link later.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-08-23T14:12:00

2009-08-23T18:12:10Z

I'm probably not going to use this anymore.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-07-28T13:11:00

2009-07-28T17:29:31Z

As of late, I'm obsessed with Lost and not having my own computer to finish Season 3 with is driving me crazy. But anyway, one of the main characters Kate has the most killer bod I've ever seen in my life so I googled 'Kate Lost Arms' and came up with this;

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/workout-for-great-arms

I'm going to do this every day until my birthday and see what happens. I'm back down to 122 pounds but now I'd like to get in shape. After moving into the apartment especially, I realized that I am a weakling compared to how I used to be. I stopped lifting weights a couple years ago along with swimming and although I've kept up with cardio work outs, I've lost practically every ounce of muscle I ever had.

I also would like to be more comfortable in sleeveless shirts. I'm a broad girl thanks to my mother but losing as much weight as I did made me look a little less manly (I carry a lot of weight in my arms). I don't necessarily want to be the beefnugget I used to be, but having more upper-body definition would be great. Especially when these days I have a hard time filling out an A cup; I'd like to have something attractive uptop to make up for my lack of cleavage.

Mom is so hell-bent on my getting an augmentation with her, it's hilarious. She only wants some corrections though, and solely doesn't want to go through surgery alone. We'll see though; fake boobs have such a bad wrap. I'd never do anything more ridiculous than a C and probably wouldn't even surpass a full B but even then I worry about scars and how they'd look/feel afterward. Chances are good that I'll never go through with it.

I'm realizing that I have less and less to write in here.
I'm back to Richmond in three days, oh thank heaven.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-07-21T17:42:00

2009-07-21T21:46:17Z

There is nothing else in this world that I would rather do than to hop in my car right now with everything I can carry and go back to Richmond. Being in Northern Virginia is seriously driving me crazy and now I'm in trouble financially because there IS NOT JACK SHIT ELSE TO DO THAN CHILL IN CARS and my car gets about 9 miles to the gallon.

Ten more days ten more days ten more days ten more days tenmore days tenomore daydadhlgbbhrwa. For the love of God, somebody make a time machine.

Oh and lastly, I'm in love with Andrew and that's that.
Who am I trying to kid anyway.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-07-05T19:23:00

2009-07-05T23:32:26Z

I'm leaving Richmond after this week for a couple weeks. On to a summer in Nova, or what's left of it anyway but in the mean time! A to-do list; oh joy.

Monday,
_finish the kitchen before class
_class, take good notes
_lowes for family room paint
_pay the electric bill
_pay the comcast bill
_pay the gas bill
_pay both tickets

Tuesday,
_finish the sun room
_make flash cards
_study all night

Wednesday,
_paint the entire family room
_organize the family room entirely
_clean and organize bedroom

Thursday,
_clean kitchen thoroughly
_clean out fridge and pantry
_pack the suitcase up

Friday,
_help Andrew paint around my ceilings
_pack up remaining things

This post is me being a dick.

2009-07-01T21:25:25Z

I wish every guy I'm friends with didn't want to date me right now.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-06-29T01:18:00

2009-06-29T05:29:49Z

yessyesyesyesyesyesyesyyyewysysfhjgaflhf;hFD
My life is so complete.

:D

alisonkinkead @ 2009-06-26T01:24:00

2009-06-26T05:39:07Z

A feather would do me in.

Kind of ignore what I said earlier, things have changed dramatically; though in an absolutely wonderful and ideal way. I hope I'm not making a really horrible decision.

But goodness, I haven't been this giddy in months.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-06-22T16:50:00

2009-06-22T21:03:55Z

Life has been so much better lately, though not much has changed. I suppose I forced the stress out of me; I was on the brink of a mental breakdown.

[edit.]

I've gained weight over the past couple weeks but as of two days ago I've got this diet thing back underway. I'm not upset about it; I was unreasonably stressed.

Sometimes I wish I had more drive; I used to have so many hobbies and extracurricular interests. I hardly read and I can't draw or paint to save my life. The things that kept my time occupied don't even exist in my life anymore. I wish I had sneakers so I could at least start up some board sports again. I guess it is summer though, and who does anything fabulously interesting and intriguing over the summer unless you're wonderboy or wondergirl? I'm more content than I let on.

My second Art History 104 exam is tomorrow. I need more than a 95% really if I want an A. I got an 87% on the first exam and unlike the last summer session, this class has four equally weighted exams. I'll be fine I'm sure. I never thought I'd say it, but I want Fall Semester to start right now. I'm sick of summer. I'm so bored.

And lastly, I wish I wasn't so broke. I am so broke.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-06-11T13:49:00

2009-06-11T17:50:13Z

I don't think I've ever been so stressed in my life.

2009-06-10T21:00:39Z

1. Pay the Comcast bill
2. When the Dominion bill comes, pay that too
3. Make sure to keep in touch with Mrs. Unger about both bills
4. Brand New tickets go on sale tomorrow, buy them
5. Take better care of the apartment
6. Make flashcards or something; be prepared for Monday's exam

I feel like I have too much on my plate right now. I'm sick to my stomach because I'm so stressed out; my hair and eyebrows are slowly falling out and I have no appetite at all. I need help or something. I'm not old enough or organized enough to be this independent yet. What the fuck was I thinking.

I wish I still had Peter in my life like he used to be sometimes; particularly during times like these. I'm embarrassed to admit it but being with him the way I was for so long turned me into a moderately dependent person and although I've mostly bounced back, I still find myself teetering on the edges of stress-induced breakdowns regularly. I need a partner, or something.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-06-04T15:23:00

2009-06-04T19:32:50Z

There just aren't enough hours in a day. I'm under so much pressure lately because of, dare I be so cliche, my new adult responsibilities. Keeping my apartment clean, paying rent and bills, organizing payments for Caitlin while she's in Cairo, and keeping tabs on her cat have kept me so busy. I haven't gotten enough done and I'm kicking myself for it.

I'm also broke, and a full time student on top of everything else. I want a summer; I'm jealous of everyone who are enjoying summer. But even when summer comes for me, my responsibilities are still inescapable. I don't think I was quite ready for this but so far so good.

Today is going to be dedicated solely to studying for my final tomorrow. I'm not as confident about this exam as I was for my midterm but I figure if I study enough then everything will be fine.

I want closure with Andrew. I also want something that I could probably get but it would end up hurting a lot of people. My life is a joke.

Caitlin (oops; she's untagged on Facebook), Kristin, Me (drunk), Beans, Garrett.
Gimmeeeeeee.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-06-02T23:54:00

2009-06-03T03:54:49Z

I'm dieting again.

My newly adopted hobby

2009-05-27T23:42:42Z

Enjoi Jery Hsu Cat Collage Deck.
Holler ♥

What a Tuesday!

2009-05-26T12:35:43Z

Last night was the first all-nighter I've pulled all year.
I have an exam in four and a half hours.

I needed something cute to get my day going;
that and entirely too much coffee.
I'm going to sleep forever.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-05-25T17:46:00

2009-05-25T22:19:27Z

I have a midterm tomorrow. I enjoy this summer class but it's stressful because my grade is determined by two exams; a midterm and a final. I've already taken art history foundation and the sole purpose of taking it again is to get an A to balance out the D I got first semester. I've taken enough adderall to keep me up all night in order to commit everything I can to memory before the exam but I can't say it isn't really worrying me.

My brother is really taking a tole on my family. He's a very selfish person and doesn't take others' feelings into consideration. My Grandmother is really starting to fall apart; she's 92 years old and has lived a fantastic and luxurious life. However she's starting to age and recently had some kind of mental lapse. My Mom hasn't really divulged what exactly happened but from what she has told me, I'm guessing she had a serious stroke that somehow either induced or enhanced Alzheimer's. My Grandmother has been spacey since I was little so she and I never had a deep relationship, but can't help but feel for my Mom. My brother though, is an entirely different story.

He's doing horribly in school and is embracing some very weird and new personality traits. While my Mom was in New Jersey with her Mother in the hospital, my brother proclaimed that he'd kill himself if Mark (my step-dad) didn't stop trying to force him to do his chores and school work. Knowing my brother, he'd never do something so drastic but the fact that he could say such things to my Mom while she was dealing with her Mother disgusted me. Things have gotten moderately better but David's outlandish and rebellious tendencies haven't dissipated. David's also not talking to my Dad as a result of an argument that occurred months ago. He's a mess, and he's tearing my family apart. I'm doing what I can to help but I haven't got much control over the situation. For the sake of my family, I hope David grows out of it.

I'm still as in love with Richmond as I ever was and I'm glad I decided to stay here for a longer stint this summer. I'm far away from the problems at home and I'm not necessarily comfortable with that but here, I am legitimately happy. I'm excited for the school year to start up again and for everyone to come back to school. My apartment is really fantastic and I couldn't be more pleased with my new roommate. Andrew is lovely and he liked all of his birthday gifts. We're still "unofficial" but we're exclusive and that's all that really matters to me.

Things, for the most part, are going my way.

On Tuesday
_study forever
_ask mom to deposit money for pass
_buy a scantron before midterm
_crush the midterm
_buy milk (I have no money.)
_figure out finances with Caitlin
_sleep for days

On Wednesday
_get a new license
_get a Fan parking pass
_paint either the kitchen or the sun room
_clean up

1. weigh 115 when fall semester starts
2. get As in both summer courses
3. finish setting up and decorating the apartment
4. start eating in a healthy and balanced fashion
5. keep things with Andrew going as well as they are now
6. throw a back-to-school party with Caitlin
7. read at least two books
8. formulate a budget
9. drink more water
10. get a kitten at some point

alisonkinkead @ 2009-05-22T00:39:00

2009-05-22T04:45:30Z

I haven't had the time or energy to breathe lately but I'm finally settled again. Caitlin and I almost have the entire apartment set up; the rooms will be painted and the last bits of furniture will be arranged within days. This is so incredibly exciting; I finally have my own place to live and it isn't a dorm. It's everything I could have asked for and more.

The end of the semester went well. Four As and a C so I haven't got anything to complain about! I'm in classes now and they're no where near as terrible as I thought they'd be. I suppose we'll see how the class really is once midterm rolls around next Tuesday.

My family is sort of a mess, Andrew is two hours away and I really never think he's pleased with anything, I've put on a little weight due to retarded eating schedules during finals and moving but nothing major, but I'm happy. I've got my car back and some money and I've got my future relatively outlined. All in all, things are going well.

The best part about the past few weeks? Beans, Garrett, Caitlin, Brian, Justin, Kevin, Andrew, Joe, Lane, and Kristin. I was worried I wouldn't make friends at college but I appear to be doing just that. I pride myself on being an optimistic person and right now I don't think my life could get much better.

On Friday
_wake up at 9:00am
_make all flashcards for midterm
_rent a u-haul with Mark and get the couch at noon
_class until 4:00pm
_pack for the weekend
_find chicken somehow
_leave for nova by 8:00pm
_do laundry before bed and after seeing Andrew

On Saturday
_print all art history notes
_call the gas company
_find Andrew, and give him his gifts
_so on and so forth

alisonkinkead @ 2009-04-21T17:32:00

2009-04-21T21:33:49Z

Considering my car and how fucked it's been the past two weeks, my health and how weak I've felt for the past month, and the intermittent Andrew related issues (which have ceased mostly as of late), I am really quite happy.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-04-16T10:48:00

2009-04-16T14:48:41Z

RATATAT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD.

More realistic.

2009-04-15T14:53:27Z

Things that have to be finished today!

~~. Get the application from Meadow.~~
~~2. Start the European History exam.~~
3. Clean bedroom.
4. Get laundry finished.
~~5. Create an outline for the Focused Inquiry paper.~~
~~6. Have a bomb ass time at Ratatat tonight.~~

Things that have to be finished by Thursday!

1. European History exam.
2. Anthropology readings.
3. Create a very rough draft for Focused Inquiry.

Things that have to be finished by Friday!

1. Application process.
~~2. Have a mock schedule for Fall 2009.~~
~~3. Be registered for summer classes.~~
~~4. Have a box prepped to send to Peter over the weekend.~~
~~5. Clean and tune up the bike.~~
~~6. Turn in Application (have Mom cosign?).~~

alisonkinkead @ 2009-04-14T19:22:00

2009-04-14T23:23:35Z

Making Butteryass Tees with Andrew and shit.
(www.theberrics.com)

Also,
the Flaming Lips for free at Earth Day Festival in Washington this Sunday?
Don't mind if I do.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-04-13T11:09:00

2009-04-13T15:13:50Z

I can't get enough Damien Rice lately.
I only want what's easily attainable; anything out of immediate reach scares me.
I don't get out enough, and I know exactly why and it's embarrassing.
I wish I still painted. I don't even think I could if I tried now.
I don't know, I'm very confused.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-04-11T20:24:00

2009-04-12T00:41:43Z

I'm tired and just want to be in Richmond. I haven't spent a weekend in my own bed in a month now and I'm sick of it. I enjoy going out of town to visit friends or to see my parents in various parts of the country but I've been so incredibly stressed lately, and all I want to do is turn all of my lights off and lay in bed for 24 hours.

I'm in Williamsburg right now, at The Great Wolf lodge with my Dad, Pam, and the twins. It's fun and all but I'm too physically tired to really thoroughly enjoy anything. Colonial Williamsburg was awesome though; I've got a sincerely nerdy gene in my body and it's nice to be able to embrace it every now and then.

I'm not doing as well in school as I'd like to be, though I'm still in the clear. In a perfect world I'd have straight As, but it's tougher than I'd thought it'd be. The only class I'm really struggling in is Art History, which is a total bitch. It's my major and I should be thriving but the format of my teacher's exams are entirely unreasonable. If a class average on a test is lower than 70%, an instructor should notice that something's wrong.

How about when three consecutive tests provide less than 70% class averages? It would take some serious tenacity to convince me that she could ever be a successful professor. I'm not a 400 level Art History major; I'm a freshman and should be learning what foundations I need to be learning as a freshman. Fucking cunt.

Andrew and I are good. I hope that I'm not working this hard for something that I don't actually want. I absolutely love most aspects about Andrew, but there are some things that either scare me or offend me about him. We'll see; we're still taking things slow.

I'm still fixated on my weight. Much too fixated. I feel like I won't be happy until I'm 115 pounds, and I know that sounds extraordinarily thin but I'm 120 pounds now and I still wear size 3 jeans and poke out a bit over the tops of my bikini bottoms. I'm as healthy as I can be right now; eating the right stuff and taking my vitamins. I'll be ok.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-04-08T13:39:00

2009-04-08T17:47:01Z

I was in Florida this past weekend. It was nice to get away and get my mind off things. I'm really burnt, but what's new. Peter came to visit for a few days which was really lovely. I think he needed to get away from VCU; the school wasn't doing him much good. My Mom and I both cried a lot once he left but it reminded me that I love Peter and he'll always be a huge part of my life. I'm glad that now we parted on good terms. Winter break ended very ungracefully for us.

Andrew and I are working things out again and I've told him that I'm done waiting around for him to make up his mind; I care about him but I can't have him changing his mind on me every few weeks. I want the stability of a relationship, not the uncertainty that he was allotting to me. I think things will work out this time though; last night (my first night being back in Richmond) was really nice. He adores me and I know that. He's so terrified of ruining our friendship though; I want to be able to tell him that it'll all be ok and it'll all be worth it eventually but I figure I'm not a psychic nor do I have the grounds to say that anyway. He's never been in a solid relationship before and I'm only speaking from experience with two other people. We'll see where this goes, but it looks good.

Geli is slowly becomming one of my best friends and I'm happy about that. I needed some estrogen in my life.

Caitlin Unger and I are living together next year; we've got an apartment lined up for the summer and I'll start moving my things over there in a week or two. I'm glad this worked out as well as it is. She's a nice girl and she and I have a lot in common. Next year seems very promising.

alisonkinkead @ 2009-03-23T16:12:00

2009-03-23T20:14:59Z

It's been a while since I've felt like I was part of a family other than my own.
I am so happy.